Conversations with Abi and progress

Well it's just after 8 and Annabel is asleep. No drugs needed.

Aiden's mum is doing well.

We're all very tired. It has been a long few days. I have a lot to tell you.

Do you remember my conversation with Abi? I haven't told you the outcome. Now Abi, is lovely and honest. She is probably my best friend, she's also a psychologist. Annabel and her spent sometime together last week and Abi did a little evaluation. Very informal.

So armchair psychologists you will enjoy this.

Abi reckons that there is a 'problem' and it's not just your usual run-of-the-mill-adoption stuff. What kind of problem she's not really sure, but she's suspecting a development disorder, but not Autism. Annabel smiles when she's happy. Even if it's only occasionally it's more than she would do if she had 'classic' autism.

There may also been a touch of Sensory Intergration as most children with development disorders to experience this as well.

Abi also thing that Annabel has a language disorder in the region of processing.

Now as if that isn't enough she thinks there is a serious cause to some of the behaviours. It's very hard to write about these things as I don't know what my daughter went through before she got to the orphanage or what happened, if anything, in the orphanage itself.

Yes the children were malnourished and neglected. They lay like planks in beds all day and I didn't expect miracles, but my conversation with Abi was something that I hadn't prepared myself for.

So Annabel and I are going to a play therap counselling session at Western Australia's leading children's hospital. All thanks to the very kind Abi, or got us up the waiting list in record time. We have already visited the sexual health clinic and also seen a resident psychiatrist to rule out the possibilities of self-harm and suicide.

My nine year old was evaluated incase she harmed herself.

I was gutted. The investigations were invasive, Annabel didn't understand what was happening. She can't tell us what she's been through.

This was all on the Wednesday night.

You can imagine what kind of state I was in when I got the call about MIL.

I have only just told Aiden about everything. He was pretty angry that I hadn't told him earlier but I wanted him to concentrate on his mother. I feel like shit about it now. I only told him now (and this really impeccabley crap timing) because Annabel had the screaming habdabs when he tried to change her panties and it suddenly clicked that there just maybe other reasons behidn these outburst than being a sucker for mummy.

I have a million evaluation forms to fill out and they just made me cry. I am so scared about what lies ahead, yet so desparate for answers. Abi has guided me, yet I still feel frightened.

OK. So you know. If my emotions are a bit ragged over the next few days, weeks, months you will know why. Maybe some of you will understand what we are going through.

When is this madness going to stop.

Happier notes.

Annabel seems to be thriving. She has enjoyed watching all the birds, seeing wild Kangaroos and Wallabies and spending time on the farm. Her speech is slowly improving, she's still screaming, no improvments in the toilet department, but she's thriving. I don't know how or why, but she is really coming out a bit.

She still doesn't move around too much. I mean she sat at he breakfast table for an hour today because I didn't lead her anywhere.

We've started looking at the alphabet and I have realised that I actually don't have a bloody clue about this homeschooling thing!! Oh well, we will learn together.

I was wondering about making up flashcards with basic words on and trying to promote speaking in sentences rather than screaming blue murder. Is it too early to start with flash cards?

She knows two colours now- Blue (of course) and green. She can count to three sometimes. And is now saying 'yes please' and 'no thank you'. She says me instead of I, My, Mine, Yours. So I am trying to work on that.

We have a problem in the fact that the naughty chair is still at home. This is a very confusing concept for Annabel to get her head around, and means that the consistency of the madhouse has vanished.

Still doesn't help at all in dressing herself even though I'm encouraging it. She will however feed herself with a spoon occasionally. It goes everywhere though.

She can also take off her shoes but nothing else.

She has stopped hitting Bianca, after Bianca whacked her back. She stills bites a lot though and is still screaming almost constantly.

I do see improvements. Just not in general areas. She's more relaxed when we cuddle and massage her and she's started to enjoy being read to. She laughs when Aiden tips her upside down. Laughs a lot. Her face goes red and she shouts for more daddy more.